Ample Sanity

"Everyone who gets sleepy at night should have a simple decent place to lay their heads, on terms they can afford to pay."

Millard Fuller

"I thought i was seeing my aura, but soon discovered i had merely engulfed myself in a cloud of flatulence."

Great Cosmic Happy-Ass

"There is no such thing as fun for the whole family." .Jerry Seinfeld

"Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car."

G.K. Chesterton

"Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition."

Jack Handy

"Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true."

Robert Brault

"The shortest unit of time in the multiverse is the New York Second, defined as the period of time between the traffic lights turning green and the cab behind you honking."

Terry Pratchett

"I have my own particular sorrows, loves, delights; and you have yours. But sorrow, gladness, yearning, hope, love, belong to all of us, in all times and in all places. Music is the only means whereby we feel these emotions in their universality."

H. A. Overstreet

"Scientists have found the gene for shyness. They would have found it years ago, but it was hiding behind a couple of other genes."

Jonathan Katz

"All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable."

Fran Lebowitz

"Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself."

William Faulkner

"Sometimes you got to hurt something to help something. Sometimes you have to plow under one thing in order for something else to grow."

Ernest Gaines

"There's nothing in the middle of the road but a yellow stripe and dead armadillos."

Jim Hightower

"The conception of two people living together for twenty-five years without having a cross word suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep."

Alan Patrick Herbert